I wish I could teleport
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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