they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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