you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize