dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I looked at my own cervix.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You made out with two different species that night
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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