marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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