The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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