apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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