you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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