i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize