Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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