Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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