I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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