so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize