i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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