Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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