her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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