Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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