I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize