What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize