I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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