You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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