my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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