Umm I'm too high to move.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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