He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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