as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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