Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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