1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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