your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
