i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
