I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize