she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize