Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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