there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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