i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize