I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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