zippers are such a cool invention
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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