Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am spending my child support on dildos
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize