thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize