highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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