just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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