Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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