You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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