He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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