In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize