hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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