my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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