I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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