Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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