Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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