When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
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