The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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